It seems impossible, ya know? To become so rich… so fulfilled because you have everything you need.
Right before it happened I was at rock bottom. Scrambling. I lived on hardly any money the first year of my daughter’s life. I was a struggling newly single woman and mom!!! Talk about a YEAR! It was insane…. but it was the starting place of my success. In the middle of the desert, with my hair in knots and my eyes burning from the sand, my face messy from the sweat and my hands weak from the carrying of my child. More parched for thirst than I’ve ever experienced, I came into something that led me to wealth… and my thirst was about to become more than quenched.
I was poor. I was alone. I was unwanted.
Then, I did a few things that turned my life upside-down and my desert situation into a palace of riches and fine luxury. All of my dreams and desires at my fingertips. I became so wealthy.
I simply did the following:
I became thankful— I held my daughter tight every day. She was all I had and she was more than all of the riches of the world. I scraped up money to shop at the second hand stores to make sure my baby girl was still in the cutest outfits around. I found that living so tight made me feel more thankful for what I did have than ever before. Everything I could purchase or do with my little funds was the biggest blessing. Everyday was a miracle. We were given a complete bedroom set and nursery set. A beautiful home to rent on a dime. A safe and gorgeous area to have play dates. I had never had so little but yet had more than I could have ever dreamed.
I sat in silence— I listened to my heart for the first time in my life. I heard it’s cry… it’s pain was asking to come forth and be ever so gently embraced. It beckoned to be heard for once and felt for all it was worth. Silence became empowering. It led me to action. I heard truth that was so rich it made all the distractions and noise seem like cheap junk food that made me ill. I found contentment. I found peace.
I embraced pain and stopped running— unbelievably painful to start, yet more healing came by walking through the flames than around them. I was refining my heart and my faith in this process… when I had lost both — they came back to me through this furnace of love. This fiery trial and season I walked through– facing ultimate rejection in the most vulnerable time of my life after just delivering my baby– became the most significant mold to bringing me the best give I could give myself…. it gave me back ME. Not a settling version of myself, but a true, real me.
I allowed Love in— His name is Jesus. I read a book (my favorite book of all time now) called Hinds Feet in High Places and everything in my life went from really blurry to precisely focused. I could see the daises and sunflowers again because of Who was on this journey with me and how involved He is. I learned He had been the one who guided me out of the chaos, misery and destruction and into the “Higher Places” (the good life!). I experienced that God is much more loving and kind and understanding than I could have ever known. Now I have more freedom to seek Him than ever before – I’m guiltless, forgiven, loved and blown away daily by how good He is.
I chose to love myself— I am not going to play the popular “all the things that are wrong with me” game anymore. I don’t need to lose weight, gain more money, and buy all the material things a girl can dream of (and I can dream 😉 ) to know that I am loved! I am still normal and have insecurities, but I don’t let them control me. Instead, I’ve learned the art of working on them or embracing them. My uniqueness is a gift that I want to honor and explore. Kindness towards myself is now possible! I don’t need to feed shame to myself –because ultimately that is feeding shame to the women around me and even to my precious daughter. I have embraced my worth and I feel the benefits of it– security, safety, love, and joy!
Money can’t buy all of these rich and lovely things I now have– I have peace and love. I have more than a million dollars and I want you to know that even if you have a million dollars, it’s easy to be drastically poor in what matters. You were created to have an abundant life– no matter your status now– financial, spiritual, social– and regardless of your bank account of sin or dollar bins or hate or secrets or screw ups– YOU are loved and forgiven.
Seek God first and ALL these beautiful, amazing things will be yours.
I’d love to hear from you! What do you have that is worth more than any dollar amount? What do you still long for? Comment below and let’s chat! 🙂