There are so many ideas on what it means to be confident. But to me, I think confidence is knowing who you are and knowing your worth.
“How To Become the Confident Woman You Want To Be” was the title of an article I recently read. After spending the time reading it and soaking it all in, I felt almost less confident than before I started reading. Why is that? As a lay there thinking about it, I realized why. All of these “fixes” the article gave were contributing to the idea that there is something we can do to make ourselves more confident, more desirable. And that’s just it. If what we do or don’t do will shape our confidence, we’re already walking on eggshells.
I knew it wasn’t true. My confidence is boosted at times when I get a new outfit, work out more, live a health-conscious life, YES…. but in order to STAY confident even on the days I skip a workout or haven’t spent time on myself, I needed to look deeper.
Our confidence as women does not have to go up and down depending on how we feel, dress, look or wish. It can stay consistent with our beliefs. And that is the best news ever. (like EVER!!)
Here are 4 things that help me keep my confidence all year:
1- Stay “anchored” This. Just this. For me, it’s clinging to my faith. Knowing I have worth because of who I am to Christ takes a place in my life that gives my reality a dose of more than how I feel on any given day. Staying anchored to me, means waking up and giving God my first part of my day (Elmo has helped me stick to it!). I usually make coffee and sit with my journal, Bible, and read a daily devotion or just say a prayer. Each day it is different, but the impact on my life is profound.
2- Stay “free” If Jesus came to set us FREE, we can release ourselves from the demands of this world and stay free. I do this by simplifying my life at various times throughout the year. Sometimes, and especially with a child, it’s simplifying my schedule. It’s breaking up with old habits that don’t help you. It’s joining a new church, group or being intentional about getting some healing. It’s surrounding myself with real, heart-level relationships. It’s getting out of my comfort zone at times. It’s laughing. It’s chasing my dreams no matter the cost. It’s abiding and growing closer to God, which is the only true freedom there really is.
3- Stay “peace-filled” For me, I cannot feel confident when things are in chaos. Yet, surely life will throw things at you and there are certain mountains to climb. There are challenges on this side of life, whether we like it or not. But it’s not about getting rid of these so that we can have the peace we so desperately need. Instead, it’s calling out to God in the midst of them. In the heat of the battle. In your fight of struggle. In the hand you’ve been dealt since birth or in the news you’ve just received. That is the time to look to God and call out to Him. Keep your eyes on Him and peace will surround you and your treacherous circumstance. It will come over you like a flood and it will strangle out your anxiety, fear or doubts. Living in that peace is more than possible and will keep your confidence strong because you know Who holds the world.
4- Stay “brave” This is part of being confident. And no, I am not referring to the ability to jump off high objects or to take crazy risks for no reason. I am talking about being brave in order to accomplish your dreams. Being brave is being vulnerable at times to save a relationship. Taking chances that feel terrifying. Standing up for your faith or sharing it. Pursuing your goals and your passions with a fire behind you. Being willing to step out on a ledge that you know you need to. Chasing your dreams while pushing away your own doubts. That is what it truly means to be brave. Don’t wait for it to feel “good” or “safe” to be brave in your life… do it afraid. That is true confidence.
And remember- You are beautiful. You are worthy. You are loved.
I’d LOVE to hear from you!!! What helps you feel confident?? Do you struggle in any of these areas (Staying anchored, staying free, staying peace-filled, or brave)?? I promise to respond to your comment below!!
XO and Happy 4th,
p.s. Here are our 4th of July pics! Olivia is such a little fire-cracker!